by Cara Colleen
Living feels like mere existence right now--
Marked by the slow passage of heartbeats and
Trickle of tears leaking past lids tightly shut against the dark night
It has the sensation of bare feet shuffling across old, worn pavement--
Just enough smoothness to keep going while the roughness rubs away layers of skin--
Uncomfortable to painful to bleeding hobble,
Hoping the other side (with smooth green grass) will come soon.
I exist for some purpose I cannot fathom, awaiting some hope that I cannot see.
It is a journey, I have told myself many times,
That is well worth the discomfort for the many blessings that come my way,
Despite my inherent flaws and ill choices.
This moment, I simply am; next moment I may be bursting with passion.
Life comes as it may and mine is not to choose whether "to be or not to be".
My choice is to, somehow, find rest in the One who put me in this place,
To see through pain to purpose,
To walk on in hardship knowing I do not walk alone,
To cross this patch of pavement and find healing in green pasture,
So that I will have the courage to cross the next painful patch of pavement.
I choose to open my eyes and see the dark night sparkling with stars
Through freely flowing fountains of tears,
To feel the beating of my heart as the rhythm to the music of my life.
I am who I am because of HIM!
He is the very Core of Life, the very Cord which binds all of existence together...
©2003 by Cara Colleen. All rights reserved.
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